#i feel so bad for her because she obviously cant understand what’s going on

[grahamzcracker]

𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞 | 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐦𝐚𝐧

i am not the one you want, babe . i am not the one you need .

▸ it ain’t me babe - joan baez

— dating s3 shauna (who is not yet over jackie, but shes trying!)

w.c : 670 / c.w : brief smut at the end (fingering, switch!shauna ??), probably a bit ooc... / request status : open!

a/n: sorry if there’s any grammatical errors—i’m tired as hell but cant sleep 😭 this one's been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute, figured i'd finally start it! (also... my first time writing anything remotely sexual, hope its not too bad)

sfw

⌗ ever since jackie's death and everything with her baby, shauna obviously hasn't been doing well. thats when you come along.

⌗ you'd been eyeing her for a while, even had a crush on her before the crash, you just never acted on it because you didn't think she'd ever be into you in a million years — she was jackie's, whether she'd admit that or not, and you respected that.

⌗ seeing how much she was hurting after jackie's passing, you took it upon yourself to try and cheer her up. you gave her little handmade gifts here and there, stuck by her side on everything, and just sat in silence with her when she needed company but didn't want to talk. you were fine with not talking, it seemed to be making her happy, and that's all you cared about.

⌗ at first, she didn’t understand what you saw in her. she was mean, aggressive, closed-off… everything you weren’t. but as the days went on, she realized you had no bad intentions and just genuinely liked her, and she stopped trying to push you away.

⌗ things seemed to be going okay for a while, but you couldn't help but notice the way she'd zone out while talking with you, or while you were talking at her, it was practically every conversation — whether she was bored, completely uninterested, or her mind on something/someone else, you didn't know, you just tried to brush it off.

⌗ once she finally let her walls down a bit with you, she started letting you sleep in her hut. she'd never say it out loud, but it helped having someone with her at night. a living, breathing body she could hold onto and seek comfort in. often times at night, when it was just the two of you in your hut, she would either hold you close or rest her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as you ran your fingers through her hair.

⌗ on days she was more stressed than usual, the two of you would go into the woods and sit near the lake, taking comfort in each other's presence. that was all she needed — to simply be near you. her mind sometimes wandered to jackie, wishing she hadn't made the mistakes she did. if she hadn't made them, then maybe it would be jackie sitting next to her, not you.

nsfw

⌗ one day, shauna was in a particularly rough mood, so she seemed out the one thing that made her feel better. you. you were sitting in your now-shared hut, etching something into a piece of bark when shauna came in.

⌗ she looked pissed off, no doubt that it was about mari again, this has been a common occurence lately — practically part of your daily routine at this point — shauna would come in frustrated, expecting you to fix it, which you did every time. she'd give you her signature sad, brown eyes, practically pleading for you to make it all better.

⌗ you'd bring a hand up to cup her face, then she'd slam her lips onto yours. her hands would find your waist, slipping under your top as she kissed you hungrily.

⌗ some days she preferred to take control, others she just wanted to lay back and let you take care of her. this was one of those days. she laid back and panted softly as you pressed gentle kisses to her neck, your fingers making their way into her underwear. as your fingers finally got to work, she let out a low moan, and you swear you heard jackie's name fall from her lips.

"fuck, jackie..." the words were breathless, nearly silent, but you heard them. her hand made it's way into your hair, giving it a slight tug as your fingers plunged in and out of her dripping cunt. "yeah... just like that, baby." she praised softly. feeling her hips buck against your hand, you brought your thumb up to rub her clit, bringing her closer and closer to the edge.

--

a/n again : ok hi i hope the last bit wasnt horrible. im beyond inexperienced. (tmi...?) so.

[keroseneinhalers]

okay good 😭 because this one is insane

so when i was in 9th grade i had this teacher who had memory issues from a head injury shed been given by a student. she often had trouble remembering basic things. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER. she had this pair of scissors that she'd had for ten years, they were her Favorite Scissors. she loved them.

one day i needed scissors to cut off a hank of my friends hair (long story, they wanted an undercut but their mom was suuuper religious and so. chop) but they wouldnt let me at it until the hallway, id been hyping them up and lowkey pressuring them for the whole class period. i grabbed the closest scissors (teachers Favorite Scissors) and hacked a ponytail of hair off while we walked into the hallway. ponytail went to friend, scissors went in my bag.

the next day, the teacher asks who has the scissors. shes not mad, she just wants to know if anyone took them. she wants them back and won't be upset. i had taken them out at home. they were no longer in my bag. i start sweating. my seatmate, the most perfect and moral girl in the world, middle name "love", turns to me and says, heartbroken, "who would do something like that?" i sweat harder. 'yeah... that's really messed up :(("

this continues for a WEEK. i keep forgetting the moment i get home, then remembering and being wracked by shame the moment i walk into class. my teachers pleas get more and more desperate. shes begging at the start of every class for her scissors. i pretend on multiple occasions to help her look for them. i tell her im sorry someone took them and that it's horrible.

finally, two weeks later, i manage to get them to school. i put them in the corner of the room when no one is looking and wait. after a few minutes, one of my classmates says "hey, are these your scissors?"

my teacher, who has memory issues, looks visibly confused and worried. "i swear i looked there... i must be imagining things, i'm so sorry you guys. i can't believe i didn't see them. im so sorry." THIS IS A 70 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH MEMORY ISSUES I AM GOING TO HELL. H-E-L-L. i dont speak up. i never came clean about it. she left the school two years later to retire because her father had dementia and she didnt want to get the covid vaccine

this entire story is so greg heffley coded it’s not even funny this could be an entire diary of a whimpy kid b plot but also i want you to know you were 14 and 14 year olds make mistakes much worse than this so give urself so grace it’s okay. u didn’t do it on purpose and even though it went on way longer than it should have you felt bad and returned them and she got her scissors it’s okay. rare nugget of g**kitten love and joy and forgiveness tonight.

[mrsfudd]

Behind your back- part 2

warnings: fighting, break up 😟

“PAIGE STOP IM NAKED” KK said trying to keep your sister away

“EW DUDE, JUST HURRY UP PRACTICE IS IN 5” Paige yelled.

You held your breath until you heard the door shut. A wave of guilt ran through your whole body. You really loved KK but somehow you felt like you were betraying Paige. Ever since you were little there was nothing you couldn’t tell her. The more time you spent with KK the more you wondered when that changed.

Your mindlessly packing your bag, overthinking a little too much til KK snaps you out of it.

“Babygirl, you gotta go” KK said trying to rush you in the nicest way possible.

She had your whole existence studied and easily picked up that something was wrong but this wasn’t the time to sit and talk about your feelings.

4:02 pm

Barely surviving your morning classes and trying to avoid Paige all day. You finally got back to your dorm from your last class of the day. You sat on the couch as your roommate started talking to you. You let her ramble and gave her reassuring words every few minutes. You pulled your knees to your chest and started to pick at your nails while you zoning out. Your brain scrambled and you were trapped in your own thoughts until you get a text notification. It was KK.

KK baby 😘: You good mamas? How was your day

You: yes bae, good wbu

KK baby 😘: im good baby, miss u tho can i come thru ?

You: mhm, js knock my roommates here but shes going in her bedroom

If you were being completely honest, you didn’t want KK to come over. Obviously she didn’t do anything, you were just nervous you were going to ruin everything over one mishap. You wanted KKs love and your sister’s trust. You were seriously conflicted and had created an ultimatum in your head. Terrified of losing either, you kept quiet unsure if that was the right idea or not.

6:35 pm

KKs here and it’s weirdly silent.. until its not

“So I was thinking and I feel like we should tell Paige about us” KK blurts out.

Your eyes shoot open, you here the door open and close. Your roommate was gone and so you decided to speak freely.

“KK what do you mean? You already know how P would react I cant do that to her” You say.

“To her? What about me Y/N? What about how I feel? Its killing me having to be all up in Paiges face and then come here just to stab her in the back. We need to tell her. KK says.

“KK no, Im not letting you blow up everything just because you feel bad. You wanted me and you knew what that came with yet you still chose to be with me. You made your bed now lay in it.” You say watching KKs face slowly scrunch.

“Why are you so scared Y/N? Shes your sister, shes going to support you regardless. Im the one who should be scared. Please baby, I wanna love you out loud.” KK says while grabbing for your hand.

“Get off me KK, you wouldn’t have to live with the guilt forever. I would, I have to see her in school and out of school. I love you KK, I really do but im just not ready. If you cant understand that, then I guess this just wont work out.” You say holding back tears.

“Baby, please wait lets just talk. Paige wont take it as hard as you think she will”. KK pleads.

Theres no more convincing you. You were too conflicted and too scared. KK was not going to blow up your life. You needed to clear your head so you grab your keys.

As you open your bedroom door, Paige is standing right there. It wasn’t your roommate who opened the door.

“Are you fucking serious Y/N” Paige said emotionless.

“Paige I-” You say trying to hold back tears.

“No fucking save it. My teammate? I mean wow, and you know whats crazy I wouldn’t even be mad if you came to me about it like a decent fucking person Y/N. But no you couldn’t, KK just begged to come clean and you wanted her to stab my back even more? What kind of sister are you? Matter fact I don’t even know you” Paige said looking disgusted.

Her words felt like a knife in your chest, what did you do? You had to get out. You grabbed your phone and slides and walked out slamming the door behind you.

You drive all around town sobbing. Not knowing what to do or how to fix this. You just lost the love of your life and the trust your sister. All because you were scared of confrontation. You could of had it all if you just spoke up.

Since you joined Paiges friend group it wasn’t like you were apart of the basketball team. If Paige didn’t want her little sister around that was final. No one would argue well KK would, but not anymore.

You drove around for another hour before you return to your dorm. As expected KK and Paige were gone. Your roommate looked at you with wide eyes, you already knew what she was going to say.

“Bitch, what the fuck was that?�� She said munching on some snack.

“Chloe, please. Im really not in the mood” You say looking defeated.

“Nah nah come here, jokes aside come talk to me”. She says.

You sit down next to her and start explaining everything that was going on. Fighting back tears with every sentence and realizing how bad you really messed up.

“Okay well I heard them talking after you left and Paige had asked KK still loved you and she said yea. If i was you I would do anything to be back in their good graces, If its still possible Y/N. I cant believe you kept all this from me.”

you were about to respond to her until you had gotten a notification

“Y/N has been removed from the Basketball girls + the baby Group chat”

You heart dropped, and then even more when you saw that it was KK who removed you.

you knew it was going to take something drastic to get back on her good side… and you think you had an idea.

Sorry ik its short butttt part 3???? if i make part 3 i think itll be the final part. lmkkk love ya 😘

@private-but-not-a-secret @teddygrahamslam @syraxsbigfanfr

[mike-wheel]

I wanted to talk about the way mike handles accountability when talking to El in the "From Mike" Fight scene V.S. The "Its hawkins its not the same without you" to will.

Obviously the two scenes are very different tones with different stakes. El and Mikes being a fight without the pressure of knowing she will be arrested soon, whereas mike and wills is a heart to heart where they "dont know whats going to happen next." But both scenes have a common motivation; Mike needs to say how he feels.

In El and Mikes fight, Mike actually starts the conversation very open. He addresses the issue, he tries to relate, and asks her questions to understand better.

"Are we going to talk about yesterday?"

" I guess I just dont really understand?"

"what dont I understand?"

Even when El says "you think I'm a monster too," Mike still remains open trying to explain and apologizes.

"i was surprised maybe I was a little upset in the moment but Im sorry I didnt know what to do...I care for you so much."

It is only when El starts accusing him of not loving her and actually showing him proof (the letters), does he lack accountability. He starts blaming others:

"Who said that I didnt?"

"You cant let these mouth breathers ruin you. Ruin us."

"Theyre nobodies"

And the "I" statements that helped him take accountability and create an open discussion, start turning into "you" statements, turning the accountability onto El:

"Eleven youre being ridiculous"

"You know what I think of you."

"You cant let these mouthbreathers ruin us"

"Youre a superhero"

V.S

Mike addressing and taking accountability for how he treated Will during the fight and clarifying he did miss him.

He starts the conversation to address the last few days. He constantly speaks about HIS feelings and not about Wills actions or what Will said during the fight, saying:

"I was worrying too much about El"

"I feel like I lost you or something."

"I think we should work together."

"I think we should be a team."

With the only "You" statements being:

"You didnt deserve anything"

A clarification that Will did not deserve and mistreatment

And:

"You know?"

"Does that make sense?"

Checkpoints to make sure he's explaining well and that Will understands.

Again, very different situations but it says something about Mike deflecting when it's something he can't tell the truth about. Because even though Mike can say dumb stuff in the heat of a fight, its also been shown he initiates apologies and tries to mend and understand afterwards. He spends a good amount of time comforting in this show; it's something we know he isnt bad at. Its only when he feels he must deny, does he fall short.

This is even present in his fight with Will in rink o mania

Mikes face when Will talks about him calling twice:

Seemingly confused and frustrated, especially bc later in the show we learn mike is CONSTANTLY complaining about the byers phone line being busy, the device he contacts will and will only on.

Mikes face once Will mentions El having a book of letters:

He raises his eyebrows, seemingly surprised Will brought el into this, And he immediately gets defensive, saying that Els his girlfriend and him and Will are "friends'" just friends and maybe Will should've reached out more.

His defense kicks in just like it kicked in when El confronts him about not being able to say I love you, because how can he explain that? How can he explain to Will that he has to treat El and Will differently otherwise it could be seen as romantic? But when he can tell the truth, that he does feel some kind of way for Will and he doesnt feel that kind of way for El, he deflects and puts accountability on them instead.

This is probably lowk obvious like yah no duh hes gonna take accountability when hes telling the truth and not going to when hes lying. But i thought the certain dialogue chosen and words said were really interesting and a way to understand what is going on in Mikes head.

[i-cant-sing]

I don’t see any Castlevania asks and that makes me sad as HELL

How would (Y/N) react to Lisa’s burning? How would Dracula’s war court react to her? And Hector and Isaac?

I'm gonna go down the platonic route and make reader Lisa and Dracula's daughter, biological or kidnapped/adopted.

Obviously, any normal human would not react well to anyone being burned at the stake- ALIVE. And maybe when the villagers caught Lisa, they caught you as well and thought you were a witch too. They burned your mother first and just when they had started to burn you, Dracula came and swooped you up and away, along with his now dead wife's remains and while you passed out due to inhaling all the smoke, sustaining some minor burn injuries and well- EXHAUSTION AND TRAUMA, your father returned to slay the entire village and later wreak havoc on all of humanity. Really, a justified reaction from a family man.

Anyways, he returns home with you in his arms and then nurses you back to health all while killing everyone outside. Now, he may still be soft to you but you are absolutely forbidden from leaving the castle. Like you cant even go outside even if Dracula accompanies you. No, he's lost his wife and if youre their bio kid who is more human than vampire unlike your older brother Alucard, then Dracula is way more protective of you. After all, he did see you almost die and really, you remind him far too much of his wife, of her humanity and her kind heart to help others that eventually got her killed.

Initially, right after Lisa's death, Dracula didn't even allow you to even leave your room, too paranoid about some unknown force killing you and him not being able to save you in time. Eventually though, with other vampires and monsters(under his control obv) in the castle, he let you out of your room, but still not out of the castle, and thats when you found out that he had thrown out Alucard and (sort of disowned him??) because your brother was not in favour of Dracula either killing the world or locking you up.

Now, like I said before, Dracula is still soft for you but with Lisa's death he's become a little... emotionally crippled. He has too much pain and hatred inside him, and he's doing his very best that you dont end up on the receiving end of these very negative and very dangerous emotions. However, he sometimes... loses control. When you keep on persisting about how all of this is wrong, about how he shouldnt kill ALL humans, how he shouldnt lock you up or break what remains of this family, he lets his anger out on you. Only a little. He'd yell at you, tell you that you're far too stupid an naive and stubborn to understand what he's doing or why, ask if you're going to side with those murderers that you so desperately want to save over your own family? Are you that blind? He'd drag you back to your room, lock you in there because he wont have you questioning him like he's the bad guy here.

But soon after that, he'd be found sitting in front of one of Lisa's portraits, probably one where she's cradling baby you and he'd start talking to her, trying to explain himself, how he did not mean to blow up at you but you just wouldn't listen to him. The one sided conversation would always end with Dracula feeling guilty and he returns to your room with a heavy heart that just sinks more when he sees you asleep, tear streaks now drying on your cheeks. Sitting on your bed, he'd pet your hair, mumble something about how he loves you and cant afford to risk losing you, smiling softly when you shuffle closer to him.

Since Dracula knows Hector is loyal and sincere to him, he will allow you to have him as your friend. After all, you would need some company in the castle and vampire dad on murder spree is not exactly someone who is ideal for friendship at the moment. So, he permits and even encourages Hector to socialise with you and comfort you. And Hector has a bleeding heart too, so you're in luck because he will happily listen to you express your emotions and provide you with free therapy (he makes dead, one missing limb/eye puppies alive for you🥺) He just wanna protect u too, and while he doesnt agree with you being locked up in the castle, its better than the alternative. Also, has and will fight Isaac 1000% if he talks shit about you because youre human.

As for the court, they know that you are now the only thing dear to Dracula, and while one wouldnt say that you have the vampire king wrapped around your finger, he comes pretty close to it. But its no use really because they cant exactly use you to make Dracula listen to them... or can they?

Considering that you're pretty against the whole "Vampire uprising-kill all humans" plan, they cant persuade you to enslave or kill humans. What they can do is gain Dracula's favour by being... kind to you? Okay take Carmilla for example (because she's the only one I can remember from the court. Her and the brash, red haired vamp?) Now she's smart, she's manipulative and she knows exactly how to use this opportunity. She starts to befriend you by first agreeing that she understands why you're against your father's actions but also tells you that you must understand his decisions from his side. "Your mother was a kind woman, a brilliant doctor and from what I've heard, your father loved her very much. And if you've ever been in love, then you would understand why he's doing all of this." And of course Dracula overhears this because come on, nothing happens in his castle without his knowledge. So yes, he shows slight favouritism towards Carmilla among the court and he may allow her to hang around you a bit (only after Carmilla convinced him that you needed a female friend in your life, and its always better to be in her company than any of those perverted men of his court) but even then, Dracula doesn't completely trust her around you and so he wont allow you two be in contact often.

Dracula would also be way more conscious of your feelings with time, because he will realise eventually that he was far too caught up in his own pain and plan for vengeance that he forgot to see how you were coping with the loss of your mother. If any of the vampires are heard saying something even remotely mean to you, if he even hears Isaac even breathing in disgust at the sight of you because you were part human, they will be swiftly dealt with (girl, he murders them all).

You're his baby, his sweet human kid, his little princess and he wont have anyone or anything taking you away from him. (LET HIM PULL YOU IN HIS LAP AND WRAP HIS CLOAK AROUND YOU AND DRIFT OFF IN HIS ARMS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY WARMTH LEFT FOR HIS COLD DEAD HEART OMGGGG)

Ah i miss Castlevania asks too, platonic yandere castlevania asks especially. everyone send in ur asks.

(omg what about yandere brother Trevor Belmont?)

[ashisill]

Ethereal

Josh kiszka x fem reader

He wants you until it starts to become a serious relationship. He’s found excuse after excuse not to make you his and you’ve had just about enough.

Warnings: (language, fighting, crying, smoking, drinking, friends with benefits, drunk and angry Josh, unprotected sex, overstimulation, f dom, vulgar language, subby Josh, and I believe that’s all)

AN: This might be my last fanfic for a while. I’ve been getting pretty discouraged recently which I try not to do. I’ve been spending so much time writing but not getting much out of it. I know I struggle with grammar a little but I’m trying to get better. I’ll still be active on tumblr but I’ll be taking a break from writing. I hope you all understand <3

~

Ethereal: extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world

It was a warm summer night in the middle of June. You should be home in your bed or relaxed smoking a J. Instead you’re naked in cold hotel sheets. Josh is standing on the balcony smoking a cigarette. If his brothers knew you were tangled in his sheets they’d surely give him a lecture. It’s not that you’re bad for Josh. Truth be told you’re the only person they want Josh to get with. It’s just that he’s convinced himself he can’t handle a relationship. He loves to play pretend like you two are together until it gets too serious. He drags you along but refuses to settle down. It’s not fair to either of you. Therefore they try their best to pull you two apart. He’s absolutely crazy for you but what is stopping him from making it official? It’s no secret. Everybody knows his feelings for you. Even though he tries to hide it from the guys. Jake’s the only one who truly knows about your secrets in the dead of night. Although it’s not that hard to assume you’re sleeping with each other.

“Josh you can’t keep fucking her”

“What else am I supposed to do Jake?”

“I dunno maybe take her out on a fucking date”

“ I don’t date. I can’t date. I don’t do ‘domestication’ you know this. I haven’t dated since high school. There’s a reason”

“And she’s about the only girl you’ve had sex with since high school. How do you think she feels being drug around from city to city for your pleasure?”

“My god don’t say it like that. She knows I cant settle down with her”

“She’s okay with being your fuck buddy even though you’re both hopelessly in love with each other? No Josh shes not. She tells you that so she doesn’t have to lose you”

“That’s not tru-”

“I’ve talked to her myself. She can’t wait forever and you’re going to continue to take advantage of her until she finds another. Then what are you gonna do?”

“She didn’t tell you that don’t you lie to me”

“Who cares what she said or didn’t. What are you gonna do when you lose her Josh? That’s what’s important right now”

Truthfully you can never see yourself moving on from him. Is it unhealthy? Absolutely. You both play pretend and act like best friends. Around the others it looks like nothing more than platonic feelings. They know better and so do the both of you. Except let the word ‘relationship’ get thrown around and Josh panics. As much as you try you just can’t understand. Why is he throwing you away? You’ve traveled the word to stay by his side. You take care of him better than anyone. You cook elaborate meals for him, you calm him down when he’s frantic, and you fuck him like a porn star. Any other guy would have jumped at the opportunity. Including his brothers but here you are waiting hand and foot for him.

“Josh?”

He’s sliding back the balcony door and walking towards the bed. He sits with his back facing you. “Yeah?”

“I bought a plane ticket back home”

“What why?”

He’s facing you now, hairs a wreck, and his eyes are bulged.

“Because I’m done Josh. I’m done being your fuck buddy, I’m done traveling city to city on a maybe, and I’m done with the excuses. Obviously you don’t want me because if you did you would have made me yours by now”

“That’s not true y/n you have to understand-”

“I’m done trying to understand you Josh!” You’re frantically throwing your clothes on and shoving the rest in a suitcase.

“You can’t leave y/n! Come on this is crazy”

“Do you know what’s crazy Josh? Spending this long waiting for a man who won’t even hold my hand in front of his brothers”

“Y/n I explained it to you. Just put the bag down and we’ll talk”

“Talk about what Josh? About how you’re ‘not ready’ and you ‘can’t handle a relationship’. I can’t keep killing myself for you to love me. Why don’t you love me? Why Josh why?”

“I-”

“What can’t talk your way out of this one?”

“I do love you y/n”

“Well that’s fucking big of you huh?”

“Y/n!”

“Can you tell me right now? Tell me that you want this? You want us”

He’s stammering on his words and staring into your eyes. He can’t form a sentence even with your threat of leaving. You look at him in shock and throw your hands up in the air. “Well then I guess that’s it then?”

“No y/n I do want you please. Please just stay”

“Us! I want you to want us! You’ve made it more than obvious that you don’t”

“Y/n please” he looks like he’s about to cry but you don’t care. You can’t care.

You grab your suitcase and open the door. Hes gripping your arm and pleading with you. “Y/n please I’ll change. Just don’t go”

“Josh let me go”

“No! God damn it y/n listen to me! Please I-”

He’s hurting you with his strength of his grip. You even debate on if it will bruise. “Ouch Josh let go of me”

“Y/n I can’t do this without you”

“Then you should have fucking thought about that before you treated me like nothing more than a fuck buddy”

You pull away and shove a finger in his chest. “goodbye Josh”

You slammed the door and turned down the hall. He’s laid up against the door pulling his hair. “Fuck fuck fuck”

You make your way to the hotel lobbiy and spot Jake sitting at the bar. You try to not catch his attention but who are you kidding. He’s now laid eyes on you and is very concerned as he waves to you. “Well well well what do we have here?”

“You don’t have to lecture Josh anymore because it’s over”

“Over?”

“I’m catching a plane back home so”

“Well hold on now. Come sit and have a drink with me”

He pats the barstool next to him and you sigh but join him. You order a drink to calm your nerves. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

“No” you throw back a shot.

“Might make you feel better. Get it off your chest before you leave”

Jake hopes he knows you well enough to convince you to stay. He stays quiet for a while giving you time to think. Just as he wished you start to open up.

“I told him I was leaving and asked if he was serious about us. Do you know what he said?”

“Do I want to know?”

“He said nothing Jake!. He just stared at me with that stupid face and his stupid brown eyes” you shout louder than you meant.

He’s the only person at the bar that didn’t give you a look of disgust. He smiles telling you to tone it down and continues.

“I’m not saying forgive him but you know he doesn’t mean that right?”

“Really Jake?” You punch his arm. “Sorry”

“Hey!” He laughs at your weak attempt of a punch. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant he’s fucking stupid. When you force him to deal with things that way he freaks. I don’t know why but he’s always been that way. There was a time when we were kids were he couldn’t function without me during school. I was always there to pull him out of situations and find a solution to whatever was wrong. Now he’s gotten a lot more independent from me but he still depends on me for a lot. Hence why I always got a phone call after you two got it on”

“He calls you after?”

“Usually to bitch and moan about how bad he wants you yes”

“Why does he have to be so complicated?”

“Because he’s Josh and he can’t do anything without a struggle”

You sigh “I’ve noticed”

“Has he ever told you about Brooklyn?”

“I’m gonna need a lot more shots for this huh?”

“Well don’t get wasted if you going home”

“I don’t know what to do”

“Well you’re always welcome to crash in my room if you just need a break. Or if your determined to leave I’ll pay for your ticket and drive you to the airport”

You sigh “I dunno just tell me about Brooklyn”

“Well Brooklyn was Josh’s first love. They were together for two years, lived together, and it seemed just perfect. He loved her like truly loved her and we all thought she did too. Well Josh came home early from Europe and found a guy sleeping in their bed. She claimed he was drunk and needed a place to crash. He knew it wasn’t true and thankfully he left. For the next year she would do everything she could to fuck with him. She’d call him shitfaced and try to get him back. She would come by my house and try to talk to him. It was borderline stalking and I had to basically threaten her to leave him alone. Eventually she gave up after she met some other guy. Well now your here and he’s fallen in love with you and he’s terrified”

“But doesn’t he know I’m not her?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get through to him”

“I would never hurt him like that! Never would I be so careless with his heart. He’s become everything to me. So much so that I feel like a part of me is missing when he’s not around. That’s stupid isn’t it?”

“Stupid because it’s my dumbass brother. But I never see you smile with your teeth unless you’re with him. Both of your eyes seem to glow together. You don’t look at anyone the way you look at him. You’re in way to deep to just up and go home”

“I love love him dont I?”

“If love love means you can’t leave tonight then yes”

“I’m not going anywhere but he can’t get away with acting this way”

“Here”

He hands you his debit card and room card “you can order food and drinks from the room and they will bring it up. Take your bags and go get shit faced and I’ll fix this okay?”

You both rise to your feet and you wrap around his neck. You two have never hugged before so he’s a little confused. Jake’s not the affection type but you could tell you needed this. He pats your back gently and hugs you tight until you let go. “Thank you Jake”

“Anything for my future in law”

You shower in Jake’s hotel room and wrap yourself in a robe. You ordered sushi and a martini and your stretched out in Jake’s bed. It’s a lot cleaner in here than you thought and it smells of Jake’s cologne. It’s comforting in a way. You and Jake have gotten pretty close over the years. He’s saved you from a lot of stressful situations. Either you’ve gotten too drunk and he’s holding back your hair or you’re freaking out over something small. He’s always there to step in when the other guys give you a hard time. He knows your Josh’s and because of that he’s very overprotective of you. He’s the first to punch a guy for being to friendly with you. You’ve always seen him as a protector which is why you always go to him when something’s wrong. Even if you’re not trying to seek him out he’s always there. Tonight is a perfect example of Jake’s savior tendencies.

“Open the door you prick”

“I’m not in the mood Jake”

“Guess who I ran into at the bar?”

“Oh fuck” he’s swinging open the door.

“She left”

“She actually left!” he gasp.

“Josh she’s gone why wouldn’t you stop her?”

He’s being mean but he’s trying to teach him a lesson. He doesn’t want to be this way but he knows how Josh works. This is the only way to get through to him. You fight stubborn by being stubborn.

“I tried she wouldn’t listen”

“She’s probably tired of listening to bullshit”

“Jake do you not remember what happened last time. Do you not remember how bad it was for me? My god why dont you two get it?”

“Y/n isn’t her. You can’t use that excuse anymore”

“It’s not an excuse it’s the truth!”

“Fuck Josh. She’s not gonna hurt you stop treating her like she is. You tiptoe around her like at any moment it’s going to turn south. What happened to ‘fuck fear’?”

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen” he runs his hands through his tangles curls. “I really do love her she’s all I’ve ever wanted”

“I know in your heart you mean that but you fucked up big time. She truly doesn’t think you love her because of how you’ve been treating her”

“Did she say when she was flying out?”

“As your brother it’s too late for that Josh”

“Fuck”

“I would say I’m sorry but you did it to yourself”

“Jake I can’t lose her!”

He’s pacing like a madman and his curls are pointing every which way. His eyelashes wet from tears and his cheeks pink. “Maybe this is good. Maybe you need to give her space. If there’s one thing I do know it’s that she loves you”

“Is that supposed to help? She’s gone!”

“Josh” he puts his hand on his shoulder.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Go smoke a joint and calm down. You can’t do anything to fix it tonight”

“I would fight you but I know you’re right”

Josh heads to the balcony to smoke a joint and probably order a drink or two or three …

Jake swipe his card he sighs, shutting the door behind him.

“Well don’t you look cozy?”

“How’d it go with dumbass?”

“I told him you left and he’s drowning in self pity”

“Jake! That’s so sad! I didn’t say hurt him!”

“Y/n he’s lead you on for a year and you’re six hours away from home because of him. He was going to let you fly home I stopped you remember?”

“Right”

“Uh yeah don’t be stupid. Sip your drink and forget about him for tonight”

“That’s kinda of hard when he’s across the hall”

“Yeah yeah”

He’s laying beside you on his tummy. He’s stealing your sushi and also ordered a drink. This is the hardest you’ve laughed in months. You love moments like this with him. Purely platonic love. He’s the only guy you know that has never tried to get with you even when he’s under the influence. He’s sams got a little too flirty with you all in good fun of course. You’re both pretty intoxicated and the tv is suddenly the funniest thing ever. Both of you laughing and point at the stupidest things. Even the commercials are funny. You’re pleased to hang out with Jake all night. Your fun slowly started to fade away. When out of nowhere You hear a door slam which is odd for two in the morning. Next there’s banging on the hotel door. He rushes to the door and looks through the peak hole. “Oh fuck it’s Josh”

He cracks the door to find a very drunk and very angry Josh. “I was g-going to finda snack. I-I know that laugh. Y-you you prick”

“Josh go back to your room”

“Fuck you! You’re s-shirtless! Did you two f-”

“What the hell no we didn’t! Josh shut up its two in the morning”

“Fuck you!” He shouts louder.

Sam opens the door next to Jake’s room. “Josh shut the hell up?”

“He got to drunk and he’s accusing me of sleeping with y/n”

“Y-you lied to me! She-shes in y-your room!”

“Josh I just got her content and here you come with your bullshit”

“What is happening?” Sam asked shyly.

“Y/n said she was leaving, I calmed her down, offered my room for her to stay, and I tried to teach him a lesson by telling him she left. We’ve just been drinking and watching tv that’s all. Before you showed up we were actually having a pretty good time”

“Yeah so y-you can f-fuck her!”

Sam rubs his face “Josh I’m telling you to fuck off. You are beyond stupid if you think he would do anything with y/n. Go away Josh”

“No no no I need her! I need her!” He tries to push them out of the way.

“Joshua!” They shove him back. He attempted to throw a punch but Jake shoved him making him stumble. He falls back onto his hard hotel door and now you’re angry. Angry because he’s whining for you after he gave you away. Most importantly angry because they’re being so rough with him.

“Josh” you’ve appeared behind Jake making them all jump. His eyes widen and his breath has slowed. “You are a fucking mess”

“I know y/n” he looks down.

You hold back your anger with Jake and Sam because you know they were trying to help. You disappear back into the bedroom. When you return you’ve got your sushi plate and your martini. “Come on”

“What?” He’s stumbling around the hallway. You wrap an arm around his waist to steady him.

“Thank you Jake. Goodnight Sam”

He turns to cuss out his brother “yeah goodnight and fuc-”

“Shut up and get in the room”

You awkwardly shuffle in the room and he takes a seat on the bed. Neither of you look at each other. You live in painful silence before speaking to him.

“I guess you do love me huh?”

“Yes I fucking love you y/n”

“I never bought a plan ticket I just needed to clear my head”

“You didn’t have t-to scare me so bad. I thought I lost you” he’s still struggling to get the words out correctly.

“Maybe that’s what you needed to figure your shit out. Oh and I know about Brooklyn”

“Oh fuck y/n I’m sorry I-”

“Look I get it Josh but that’s doesn’t excuse the way you treated me”

“I can make it up to you I promise. Please just-” it chokes out of him. “Please y/n”

That noise reminds you so much of when he’s on the edge. As much as you hate it it’s turned you on. You test the waters carefully knowing he’s still fragile.

“Breathe … Can you make it up to me?”

You step closer to him and slowly undo your robe. “Oh fuck. Like this?”

“Like what?” You stand in between his legs. Your nails rake his shoulders gently up and down. He tries hard for his gaze not to wander your body.

He closes his eyes instead, leaning into your touch “mhm feels good”

“How drunk are you?”

“I can get it up” he smiles at you.

“M’sorry I scared you but you have to understand”

“I understand and I deserved it”

“Yeah you kind of did. Hmm. I guess you’ve been bad huh?” Your voice low and seductive.

A sly grin appears on his face. He’s enjoying this a little too much already. “So bad mama”

No words spoken you just point to the pillows. He rushes to obey you. “Good boy”. You straddle his waist and feel him through his boxers.

“Mhmm” he closes his eyes.

“Gotta stay with me baby”

“I’m here I’m right here. What you gonna do to me darling?”

“What am I gonna do? I’m gonna ride you until I’m done with you. And you gonna be a good boy and fucking take it”

“Oh fuck baby” he whines but you’re having none of it.

“Shut up”

You’re ripping off his boxers and stripping off his shirt. “Touch me. My god touch me”

“Enough”. You laid a hard slap to the side of his thigh making him shiver. He bites his lip trying to be a good boy for you.

He’s hard. Insanely hard. He’s swollen, bright red, and his tip aggressively leaks of pre cum. “So hard huh Josh? Oh so pretty for me sweetheart. Does your cock hurt baby?”

You’re speaking so vulgar it’s killing him. Normally it’s Josh doing all the dirty talk as he rambles on. Now it’s you and he thinks he’s fallen for you even more. Well if he could think about anything besides your pussy right now.

“Hurts so bad mama. So fucking bad”. He looks down at his cock with burrowed eyebrows. “Hm so hard”

“So hard”

You’re unbelievably soaking wet and you fight to stay focused. You start to slide your clit on his cock. “You’re so wet mama” it grunts out him.

He reaches down to feel you but you swat his hand. “No touching”

“But-”

“Am I gonna have to shove these in your mouth or are you gonna be good?” You tease your panties at him before throwing them his way.

“I’m gonna be good! I’m gonna be so good. So patient”

“Good boy”

He lives for your approval and gentle praise. He moans out without you even touching him. In an instant you’re sliding him inside of you and sinking down. It burns as he stretches your walls when he’s all the way in you cry out. He grips the sheets and gasp loudly. “Shit” he hisses through his teeth. His voice sounds the farthest thing from pleasure. His eyes squeeze shut and a string of grunts and moans follow.

“Josh?”

“Baby I can’t-”

“Gonna cry for this pussy? Gonna fucking cry Joshua?”

“M’sorry. So so sorry”

He’s moaning far too loud to be in a hotel room. He’s pulling at the sheets then he balls his fist and bangs them down on the bed. You let him cum as you rock back and forth. He starts to calm but you don’t stop if anything you speed up. He gasp out and reaches for you hips. “Didn’t I say no touching?”

“Y/n! Fuck! Please!”

“Oh you poor pathetic thing. Look at you Josh. Such a mess for me already? Fucking destroyed”

“I can’t-” it barely croaks out of him as you fuck yourself on his cock.

“Do you need your safe word?”

He shakes his head and you slow down a little bit. “You gonna let me cum?”

“Fucking use me y/n!”. Tears start to fall from the crease in his eyes.

“There’s my boy. Don’t cry baby I know how overstimulated this dick must be huh?” You say leaning down to wipe his tears.

You throw your head back grinding hard on his throbbing cock. He’s watching you in awe as if you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Because you are. You’re getting close and he can feel you squeezing him. Reminding him he’s not far from another orgasm. “M’close”

“I know you’re squeezing my cock so tight baby. Hugging him so good”

“You’re not far behind are you sweet boy?”

“Mhm gonna cum. Gonna cum so fucking hard”

Without another word because you both can’t form one. It’s intense and nearly impossible how hard both of you are cumming. His release starts to leak out of your cunt. Dripping down to your thighs. Your core and legs shake with pleasure. You’ve got him whining and whimpering out. He sounds so pretty and so fucked out. The noises that flow from both of you is nothing but a pornographic daydream. It’s the only thing you can focus on anymore. A beautiful filthy angelic harmony that only you two can understand. As he starts to calm you wonder how much he’s got left. You should stop. You should roll over and lay next to him, catching your breath. Whisper sweet things to him and cuddle up on his warm body. But do you?

Your hips start to roll and he looks terrified. “Y/n you’re gonna kill me!”

“Gotta empty that cock baby. I want it all”

“You’ve got it all mama please”

“One more pretty boy. Can you be sweet and give me one more?”

He looks like he’s in pain but he nods “of course I can”

Such a sweet and innocent response. You can see pure euphoria shimmering in his eyes. He’s gone yet he still smiles up at you waiting on your command.

You’re bouncing up and down on him. His eyes start to roll but you order him to focus on you. Every move you make is followed by a whimper and his body is nearly limp.

“I-I can’t. My cock hurts mama” he cries.

“Yes you can Josh look at me” You grab his face in your hands “I’m almost there my love. Take it baby can you take it?”

“Mhm I-I … I can take it” he whispered. He’s got a steady stream of tears down his cheeks. He reaches out to touch you and you allow it. He’s squeezing your breast and gripping your hips. He’s a complete mess just like you wanted. He’s so so so crazy beautiful like this. Sweat drips from his curls, his cheeks pink as ever, and his eyes glossy with pleasure and pain. You’ve never seen something so beautiful. Beautiful is a complete understatement. He’s … Ethereal. He can’t be real. You hovering above him but he can’t be. He’s so soft and gentle you can hold him like water in your hands. Too fragile for this rough and crazy world. He’s an angel that must have fell down from the heavens. It must be true he can’t be human. It’s few and far between when things in this world are flawless. Yet he lays before you completely perfect. His body sculpted from the gods. His personality built and crafted from all the things that make him Josh. That make him perfect. Tears are failing from your own eyes. You realize now you love him with every bone in your body. Every time your heart beats it beats for him. Your lungs breathe for him. You think without him you would just crumple away into nothing. You live for him. You love him. Your angel so ethereal. So wonderful and full of life. Your baby. Sweet sweet Joshua.

Your Joshua

“Oh Josh” you cry “you’re so beautiful my love. I love you Josh please don’t leave”

“I’m right here” he squeezes your hand.

His voice strained by whimpers as he speaks so gently to you. “I love you y/n. My god I love you”

“I love you too J-”

Your name is all he knows as he repeats it over and over. Like a prayer seeping from his lips. He can’t even warn you that he’s tipped over the edge but you know. A borderline screams rips out of his lungs as you cries for you. A hand reaches over his mouth as you whisper to him.

“So loud for me baby boy. So good … so” you start to trail off. Your own orgasm crashing down over you. You’ve collapsed on top of him you wish to stay there but know his throbbing cock needs a break. “Josh?”

His body is twitching and shaking. You fear you might have been too much. When he turns to you with a weak smile you feel better. “I know it’s supposed to be a punishment but I’ve never been fucked so good”

You smile at him lazily “I love you stupid”

“I love you and my cock definitely loves you”

“Hold me?”

“I’ll hold you forever my sweet girl. As long you let me”

“Good thing too because I’m never letting go. Took long enough to get you”

“You’ve always had me. I’m gonna be better to you okay? I’m gonna love you the way I should have in the first place”

“Can you start by ordering more sushi?” You tease playfully knowing the restaurant lobby is far from open.

He laughs the way you love so damn much. You rest your head on his chest, immediately being clouded by tiredness. His eyes are closed and a faint smile is present on his face. “Maybe tomorrow m’so sleepy”

“Goodnight Josh” you whisper.

He whispers back “Goodnight sweet girl. Pretty girl. My girl”

“All yours”

[mevuelvelocatuboca]

If the first episodes of the week made me uncomfortable..these last two have been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Usually, when I watch this kind of show I cried a lot. For the impossible loves, the unfair destiny, the desire that goes beyond every social law and every rational thoughts.

Well, seeing Marta de La Reina forced to come out to her father was something that doesn't made me cry.

It made me angry and sad, made me reminder some conversations with my mother and feel all the emotions that Marta felt in those moments.

At the same time I felt the gratitude for a lot of things, first for living in this era - even with all of its problems - and not back then.

Gratitude towards all the Martas of the time, because we know that this kind of conversation has happen at the time.

Gratitude for be able to see this story, so well written and even better acted that all of us were in these scenes, suffering with Marta and having her back emotionally.

For a brief second I even thought that Damian, when he was walking towards his daughter, was going to hug her at the end. Then I remember that he is the person who had cover Jesus worst actions, didn't tell Digna the truth, blackmailed Andres and Begoña for their love and pay for Valentin's false death certificate and for a fake letter to convince his son to marry a woman he doesn't love.

And in front of him Marta have always had to do more and to be more perfect than her brothers, so - even if her "sin" really didn't hurt anyone - Damian can't allow her to be who she really is.

Instead do you know when I cried? When Marta goes to Fina's apartament to tell her everything and she can't even speak at first because when she sees her at first she admires her in all of her beauty and she thinks that maybe it's really over for them but then Fina, after the initial fear, reassures Marta like only her can do reminding her that she won't give up, she will never leave her, never, no matter what.

And they start to think and realize that they have to fight against whoever want to hurt them. Together, always together.

All of this is perfectly shown when Marta come back home and talk again with her father: she is more sure of herself, of her Love, she knows that Fina will never leave her side and she clearly verbalize this self-awarness to Damian: "it's you the one who didn't understand. We are in love and it is a clean and honest love, I don't feel that I am doing anything bad so nobody or nothing is going to separate us.

Do you want to report us? DO IT!"

With the last line Marta de La Reina get out of the room with her head held higher then ever. And I can't be more proud of her journey and to be a part of a community that shows courage every single day.

# cant wait for the talk between fathers

# but especially I want a hug between Isidro and Marta

# come here hija, I'll be your father too from now on

# but you have to treat well my Fina obviously

[sirsealery]

need to rant about some people in the arcane fandom ... some of yall are PISSING ME OFF.

ok to preface this ... you can have whatever opinions you want. i dont give a shit. think what you want, i dont care the slightest. obviously im biased when im gonna say this because im vi's #1 fan but FUCK anybody who hates her for hitting and leaving powder in the scene s1 ep3. i dont care about any other opinion you have about vi but if you think this ... DID YOU WATCH THE SHOW???? WERE YOUR EYES AND EARS CLOSED OR??????

look i dont hit kids, i promise. im not a violent person, and i dont go around beating kids around the face for no reason. but if you have a sibling, YOU WILL KNOW that everyone smacks their siblings at least once in a while. me and my little brother beat each other DAILY for nonsense shit like dishes and leaving the butter out too long. im genuinely surprised vi didnt smack powder earlier, but tbh shes a better person than me and is much more parentified than i ever was. call me controversial or whatever, but in the first couple episodes, powder WAS a bit of a fuckup. and vi was very forgiving about it but there very much is a point where you fuck up too much and you cant just 'let it slide'. and that point for vi wasnt powder hesitating on the rooftop, not her slipping, not her blowing up the kirammann place (did she know that was pow's fault?), not her losing all that they stole, but it was BLOWING UP THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY.

imagine your little sister BLOWS UP YOUR FUCKING FAMILY???? and runs up to you grinning???? id lose it entirely. respectfully, id beat the everloving shit outta that little girl, and then bawl my eyes out and rot into the ground. i love powder, i love jinx, shes like my second favorite character in the entire show (wowww im so special and unique for loving jinx woww), but i would NOT have dealt with it nearly as well as vi did. im not gonna talk about how vi deals with her feelings with violence cuz its the only way she knows how because thatd be its own ramble ..

uh yeah. powder would not make it if i were vi, which might make me a bad person instead of vi a good one, but whatever i dont care. im hard betting that nobody else would be much better than me either. vi, at FIFTEEN, was incredibly mature for hitting powder once, yelling at her, and then backing away. once she realized what she'd done, she did absolutely the right thing by taking a step back to take a breath. thats literally what she did, by the way. walk away so she didnt say or do anything else she would regret and give herself a MOMENT to process the unimaginable loss she just experienced before going back to being powder's protector/caregiver/big sister/parent. and then when she TRIED TO COME BACK BECAUSE SILCO WAS COMING FOR HER SISTER, because she still cared for her by the way, and that girl is the only thing she has left, fucking MARCUS yanked her away and threw her in jail for the next six or seven years. gang did you miss that part??

im tweaking im so tired. sick of the dumbass vi hate cLEARLY you have never been an older sister and it SHOWS. scratch that, not even older sister, just a sibling in general. and then all that about vi hitting kids and bringing up when she smacked isha?? gang. that little girl BIT her, of COURSE she would whack at her its INSTINCT. man if a toddler bites my leg that hard and i dont see it i am BACKHANDING that little guy into space before i turn to look at him. and she regrets it immediately after too !! and if she really wanted to beat kids, she wouldnt have hesitated in bashing ishas head in when she went to protect jinx in that fight in ep .. 3 i think it was, or letting caitlyn shoot at jinx. shes not a child beater are you stupid????

and dont get me wrong either, i do understand that powder never meant any harm. of course i get that. of COURSE she never meant to blow up all of the people she cares about, WHO THE FUCK WOULD?? as she put very plainly, she only wanted to help. and i sympathize with that. the whole situation makes me very, very very sad. she wanted to save them, and thought she finally did it right for once. but vi also DID tell her to stay away. powder didnt completely understand why vi was so upset and hitting her so hard in the same way that she hits her enemies, grabbing her and screaming at her, then getting up and leaving, ignoring her sobbing for her to come back. of course vi wasnt RIGHT for any of it. in a perfect world, she wouldnt have done any of it. but arcane very much isnt a perfect world, and vi isnt a perfect person. she has insane grief and trauma that she doesnt know how else to process and i really do think that her walking away was the best possible solution, if marcus wasnt involved. in a better world, she wouldve gone back to powder after a couple minutes, been mad at her again or apologized or WHATEVER, kept her close, and escaped together. maybe beat the fuck outta silco in the process, i dunno.

tldr; vi punching powder and then walking away was a valid fucking crashout. YOU try getting your family exploded.

[heavenssins]

MY PITT ANALYSIS:

this is my take, my observations, my opinions pls dont be mean!!

okay so basicallyyyyyyyy! people villainize pitt characters and there are people in the pitt WHO ARE BAD PEOPLE. those are not who im talking about! im talking about people villainizing santos, frank, javadi, etc. which is not the purpose of the show AT ALL!! the villain is the system of which they are operating under. each character has a reason for doing what they do. because they are human. they are FLAWED!!! and its not an excuse for what they do, its an explanation. collins rightfully calls out mckay for her bias against the one patient. i love robby!! one thing i love about his character is that he is flawed! his implicit bias against women showing through the whole shift. he has grown up and benefitted from the patriarchy so even if he is not intentionally favoring the men, its almost like a natural thing for him. its most apparent to me, with david and the mom who is giving her husband stuff. with david, he “doesnt want to ruin his life” so he is hesitant. he gets upset with cassie when she does go to the cops, and blames it on cassie despite him being the one to tell a cop during the pittfest incident that david had something to do with it. now we go to the wife of that man in the hospital, and instead of hesitating and listening to her and asking her to talk to her daughter, his immediate reaction is to report. and i dont think this makes him a bad person!! most people have implicit biases! trinity does what she thinks is morally correct, from the threatening of the dad to turning langdon in. samira says time and time again she wants the patients to feel comfortable and she uses her own trauma and grief to help her patients. javadi is just a 20 year old who wants to be normal!!! frank is an addict and that does not make him a bad person but it also doesnt excuse his behavior!! these characters are all HUMAN. THEYRE FLAWED!! but people need them to be good. they need the show to be morally correct 24/7. they cant handle not having things be “good” or “bad”. this is not me saying people have to like every character!! obviously you like what you like and you dont what you dont!!

each character has something the affects how they handle the situations and patients. jack has obviously been a combat medic or something along those lines, which influences how he deals with the MCI. trinity’s own trauma from her childhood not only helps with the end patient but helps her protect a little girl. mel’s caretaker personality helps with miss ginger & her daughter, and growing up with becca (and being neurodivergent herself!) helps her understand how to help terrance & the little girl from episode 8. samira’s past with her dad, its implied (stated!) he didnt get adequate care due to his race, influences how she helps patients, she doesnt just brush them off. she connects and makes the process easier, while also conducting research that would make a huge difference in medical treatment for POC! javadi having to grow up way too fast influences how she interacts with the other workers, while also having to continuously prove herself. collins own pregnancy and past pregnancy help her connect with the one mother who is giving birth, but also with the teenage girl’s mom who is hesitant about the abortion. whitaker’s situation influences how he acts towards those who are unhoused. franks addiction, limits his help for those who need it, but also blinds him to others needs but is ultimately helping him with patients. mckay’s care for women especially those struggling is most likely influenced by her own struggles. these characters are all people. they are all supposed to mirror reality. they’re not perfect and they all struggle.

[elainsgirl]

Here's my take with Elriel.

I don’t think they lacked buildup. When they first met, it was cute and simple—why would they fall in love immediately? Az was still hung up on Mor, and Elain was with Graysen. But then, as you see them develop, they eventually become acquaintances, then good friends. Again, why would they fall in love when Elain was grieving a heartbreak and Az was still, again, stuck on Mor? Like during ACOFAS, you can slowly see them getting over Mor and Graysen and starting to gain feelings, and I love that. It’s so different with them. They weren’t rushed. Now look at them in ACOSF, you can tell they’re over their old lovers, and now the feelings and desire are there.

I’m so tired of people saying Elriel doesn’t make sense or that they didn’t have any buildup. Open your eyes and actually look at how they developed. Just because their dynamic isn’t filled with enemies-to-lovers tension or constant banter doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. People are so obsessed with ships like Feysand and Nessian that they constantly compare everything else to them, and it’s exhausting. There is nothing wrong with a love story that’s quiet, soft, and built on emotional connection. Not every romance has to be fiery to matter. The arguments like “they need banter,” “Elain is too soft,” “Azriel is too broken for her,” or “Elain can’t handle Azriel” are just so tired. Are you okay? That’s such a limited way of looking at love. Let soft, healing love exist. Let Elriel exist.

Like look at Lorcan and Elide for example.

I agree with your take on elriel

Elriel are actually one of the most built up couples of the series. They’ve had moments from acomaf where a tentative alliance was formed and even though it wasn’t insta-love, Mass still wrote their connection and showed us during that dinner how suited they where for each other. Then you go onto acowar, where again, they’re not in love with each other but despite that: We get romantic coded scenes, parallels to other couples, foreshadowing for elriel -> all of that is build up. Even in acofas - this is the book where feelings are being developed. Az isn’t over Mor. Elain isn’t over Grayson yet elriel have developed a deep understanding of each other which has now led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two. Acosf was just Azriel being down bad for Elain whilst she’s crushing on him throughout the book, their last scene together being a charged glance - an indication to romance readers that these two have something going on between them that will obviously have to be explored.

if elriel fell in love by acofas, antis would have said its too fast, they’re rebounds etc. Elriel have built up book by book. Alliance to friends friends to crushes and eventually crushes to falling in love - it was a natural progression that started from elriel.

People cant see elriel bcs they’ve gone so used to seeing one type of couple dynamic - narrowing their minds and tastes. I can’t wait for elriel to enter the romantasy genre with their quiet love, deep understanding of each other and acts of service/words of affirmation love language. Im tired of constantly seeing “enemies to lovers!” “Sassy, warrior fmc x badass, introverted mmc!” I want something new to be brought to the table which is what elriel does.

[ouijathicc]

Ok COTL Post

I feel like of all the bishops Heket doesn’t get enough recognition.

Spoilers. Obviously spoilers

She’s the second major boss fight so we don’t see much of her, she doesn’t have a bad design but it’s not as memorable as like… Leshy. The game doesn’t talk about her as much as Narinder or Shamura because she’s less involved in the main plot and let’s be real when do you ever need to go back to ANURA it’s unlikely you need mushrooms so badly that you can’t just grow them.

But I’d argue that Heket is actually like… really interesting and important. Though less is clearly stated so I’m speculating here, keep that in mind.

Heket has a domineering and aggressive personality, and tends to almost act like an unofficial leader of the bishops.

The bishops SEEM equal like in theory, but in practice it’s pretty clear that Shamura was the leader when they started and whatever they did others went along with. Now, since Shamura is still around but definitely NOT what they used to be, it’s pretty clear they aren’t leading the way they once did or at least not as actively as they once did. The bishops would be left in a power vacuum without them and Nari and let’s be real. Kal is a coward who will back down easily under the slightest pressure, Leshy is absolutely not leader material and it doesn’t even seem like he’d be all that interested, the only one of the bishops who could be leading that makes sense is Heket, even if Kal or Leshy were to try to take on a leadership role it’s likely Heket would overpower them.

And it’s kinda what we see in the game honestly like Heket commands her siblings a bit. She tells Leshy to deal with you early on and later tells Shamura to rest because she and Kal will handle it “won’t we Kallamar?” The dialoge implies Heket is definitely the one calling the shots, telling the other bishops what they should be doing even if they already are aware. The dialoge frequently being against getting Shamura involved also tends to imply to me that 1, either she thinks they aren’t needed, or 2, which makes more sense with the comment to rest, Heket questions Shamura’s ability to do this. And the other characters tend to agree

I don’t know if it’s just a me thing but every time I kill Heket I feel like I’ve largely beaten the old faith. Kal and Shamura are still around but… what are they going to do? Kal is a coward who bargains with you to leave him alone, and Shamura is definitely not what they once were, not to mention there’s a coldness to their dialoge like they don’t really care about survival they just want to follow through. Heket was the one commanding her siblings to act, she was the one keeping the old faith moving. Once she’s gone the game may get harder but it feels like the old faith is just rallying for one final stand rather than actively making progress towards destroying you. Though this is just a vibe.

Beyond just being probably the unofficial leader Heket is authoritative and loud and capable of telling her siblings what to do clealry but at the same time… she’s not Shamura. She’s not a genius, she’s a thug. Heket is hotheaded, violent, and overall gives the impression of “attack first ask questions at a far later if I feel like it’s necessary”. She’s not a great leader who has all the answers, she’s again, like a thug trying to take over as leader. She thinks she is the next most qualified and honestly she might be, but it’s her anger and her lack of consideration for situations beyond “kill” or “cause famine” or “punish with violence” doesn’t necessarily make her the best leader.

Heket is so hot headed and angry that she doesn’t consider other options beyond outright killing the lamb really, Leshy doesn’t seem like the type to think that far, Shamura doesn’t seem to be trying to stop you, the only one who does think of another option is Kal he tries to make peace. Because the lamb CANT DIE. That’s obvious by now. Leshy doesn’t seem to give that much thought, and Shamura understands but doesn’t care. But Heket seems to believe if she kills you hard enough, you will fuck off. It’s even seen in her purgetory dialoge that she’s still just killing you until you stop. So are the others but her take on doing it is less because she has to more because it’s what she thinks will work. Heket doesn’t know how to handle a problem she can’t kill. And despite her being the most leader ish of the bishops who still care to lead, that makes her a bad leader.

Heket is a thug taking the place of a great leader trying to be just as great as they were, but she simply isn’t. Heket is not Shamura she never will be and violence is really the only order she knows how to give.

You could argue the bishops may have always functioned this way but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Shamura may be a god of war but they’re also smart. And kinda sentimental. They lock Narinder away because you can’t kill death (and honestly I think they also didn’t want to). You know what else you can’t kill? THE LAMB. Shamura has shown they know how to handle a being that can’t be killed and maybe it’s a bit different but I like to think if you can chain away a kicking and screaming god you can chain away a tiny sheep with a knife. Shamura in the past when they led the bishops, was smart.

And this is kinda a reach… but you know what plan ISNT smart and seems to be all “kill first think later”. The lamb genocide. Shamura understands how Narinder works enough to know you can’t kill him, and he is just chilling in the after life, I personally believe Shamura is not making any attempt to stop the prophecy because as they say “Though no longer be wise, I am no fool.” Shamura dreads the end but they cannot stop you they know this, they’re here to prepare you. I don’t think Shamura ever thought they stopped the prophecy because all the lambs were dead. They know better. And it really doesn’t sound like the kind of order they’d make more one they’d accept. But which of the bishops is notable for the belief that all problems can be killed. Heket.

I strongly believe that HEKET is the bishop responsible for the idea of the lamb genocide. I believe she hears the new prophecy, and decides to do what she knows best. Violence. Shamura seems to have an understanding you can’t just FIGHT fate, but Heket… Heket thinks if you kill something that will eternally resurrect enough times, it’ll stop. Heket’s logic throughout the whole game that if she kills you hard enough she wins is the same logic as “if we kill all the lambs the prophecy won’t work” both ignore that you can’t fight death with more death, both don’t really give thought to the situation, and both make no sense if you think about it. And this is a big part of why I think Heket is important, it’s her fumbling the bag that leads to the games events and her own death. Heket is a thug in the role of a leader who leads like a thug.

And damn if it’s not kinda interesting. I feel like the game overall suffers from the lack of dialogue and context we get, especially OBJECTIVE dialogue all we really know is what happened not in depth on why and how for the most part. And no one suffers more from that to Heket in my mind because she’s a character who tries to be a leader and accidentally causes the old faith to fall through poor decision making but we don’t see that so blatantly in the games.

If I were to have one critique of COTL IN GENERAL it would be that as strong as the story is we don’t get enough of it. The bishops essentially loose all interesting details about them once you beat them. It’s a product of the gameplay type it’s not a story driven game it’s a rougelike with a town builder attatched so really only those details matter, there’s not a linear progression so heavily enforced sure you get new areas and things to do but in terms of story you do it, it’s done, you go back to the gameplay loop. It’s just how the game works. It’s a game meant to be continuously played not a storyline that ends it just stops having a story at one point. I don’t dislike this and think it should have been a fundamentally different game I love it and its gameplay is amazing, but the story and characters do suffer from not being given screen time and I think Heket is a good example of that. She hardly gets any. And I feel like she’s overlooked.

Then again this is all speculation I’d love to see what others think!

[v8mpstamp]

<3hi! I love the way you right Steve, I have a smut idea where reader and Steve get into a argument or something, maybe at a party a girl was flirting with Steve and he didn't notice it, and once reader is clearly upset he feels so bad because he truly didn't notice it hurt reader:/ (our Stevie would never do such a thing) which is why he promises to make it up to her by making her feel good ;)

Loooooove this idea! sorry it took so long, I kept changing stuff around lol hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing! :)

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Fem Reader

word count: 1k

Warnings: MDNI! Fluff, slight angst, oral (f receiving), fingering

Master list:

_____________________<3_____________________

You feel the cool air wrap around you as your feet rush you away from the party and onto the side walk. Your face hot, cheeks red and anger fills your body. Steve, your boyfriend, trailing hot behind you, suddenly you feel his hand wrap around your wrist stopping you.

“baby where are you going?” he asks innocently, in an attempt to understand the sudden turmoil in your demeanor.

You yank your wrist away and continue walking.

There’s a sudden shift in his tone “honey what’s wrong?” he asks.

“seriously Steve?” you push out, turning to look at him “that girl was so obviously flirting with you and you did nothing!!!” you shout, waving your hand dismissively.

“what are you talking about? flirting? she wasn’t flirting?” he says, a bit of honest confusion in his voice.

You don’t even reply, you just let out a scoff, turning your heel and continuing your walk back to his house. The distance was short, as the party had taken place just a few houses down.

The little bit of alcohol in your system is already starting to tool with your emotions. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you fought them back, the frustration taking over; Can he really be that oblivious? You didn’t want to talk, you wanted him to understand something so simple without you having to explain.

“babe will you just slow down please?” he says as he catches up to you, his breath visible in the cool night air, his large body moving in front of yours, stopping you. His hand gently finds its way to your waist, “I didn’t notice it okay?” he says, eyes trying to meet yours. “Just how you didn’t notice I left till I was halfway down the driveway? you were too busy answering her questions and being completely oblivious to her obvious advances” you rant, realization slowly dawned on him, eyes getting softer.

You turn away from him to cross the street, quickly making your way up Steve’s driveway, pushing open his front door and making your way upstairs to his bedroom.

”cant we talk about this?” he says as he quickly trails up the stairs, following you into his room. “I thought- shit, I guess I thought she was just being friendly” he admits, his hands rushing through his hair, a hint of realization in his voice as he recalls the events, feeling like total shit he didn’t realize sooner. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner okay? I didn’t intend to hurt you sweetie” he finishes, his voice soft and sincere as he makes his way towards you, hands meeting your hips pushing you softly onto his bed.

The back of your knees meet his bed and you sit down, before scooting back against his headboard his hands helping to guide you, a pout sits on your face, you know he means it, you know your sweet boyfriend would never allow a girl to flirt with him when he has you, you know he wouldn’t even give her the time of day, you know he would never do anything to upset you.

He scans your face with those soft eyes of his, his hand resting on your cheek, his thumb softly rubbing the area there “talk to me please” he demands.

you finally meet his gaze, feeling bad for your outburst “i’m sorry for storming out on you like that, I just thought you were doing it on purpose” you share, tilting your head down, breaking away from his gaze, your hand moving to rest over his.

“no no don’t apologize baby, I should be the one apologizing” he tells you, his hand bringing your face back up so your eyes meet again, his lips leaning in to meet yours.

“ur not mad at me anymore are you?” he asks once he pulls away from the kiss

“no Steve” you say, kissing him again

But he still feels it, he still feels that hint of insecurity that lingers on you, desperate to show you how much you matter to him.

He slowly begins to kiss down your neck, between every soft kiss placed is a mumbled “i’m sorry”, as he trails down your chest, lifting your shirt up in the process to kiss the skin there he follows up with more “i’m sorry’s” till he gets to your thighs, kissing the inside of them, “hate when you’re upset” he says in a pout, “let me make it up to you yeah?” he mumbles, and you just can’t help but surrender to him, legs growing weak.

He slowly and softly tugs your pants down, hand gripping your knees to widen your legs for him, his lips brushing against the fabric of your panties that sits over your cunt, placing a soft kiss there, his sharp nose poking your clit through your panties, the friction mixed with his warm breath causes your heart to jump.

“you’d like that?” he teases

“mmmm” you hum “Steve please” is all you manage to get out, sinking into his pillows, and suddenly you forget why you were even mad at him in the first place.

In a swift motion he slides your panties down your leg; Your cunt already slick with your arousal, he wastes no time, his tongue gently sliding between your folds, soaking up every drip caused by him. Tongue moving up and down you slowly, eventually dipping into your hole exploring the area he knows so well.

He moves his tongue up to your needy clit, circling the area soft and slow, a way to say how sorry he is. Once and a while, sucking your clit between his lips desperate to only focus on you right now, paying attention to how you buck your hips up to grind your cunt into him, your hands fisting at his hair, moans of his name fall between your lips.

Two of his fingers move to rub over your clit, before moving down, sliding right inside of you, his mouth moving back to your clit to suck and kiss as he pumps his fingers inside of you reaching a sensitive spot deep in you, the tension in your stomach growing stronger. His other hand snaked around your thigh, pressing firmly on your belly to hold you still as you squirm at the pleasure, back arching off the bed.

And it hits you. Your orgasm breaks free, mouth falling open as you give in to complete ecstasy. Steve’s tongue still working magic on your core, riding you through your orgasm, your cunt pulsing again this lips, moans and curses is all that manage to leave your lips, hands griping even harder at Steve’s hair causing him to groan against your cunt, your chest moving up and down, heavy breaths leave your lungs as you try to come down from your high.

Steve removes his mouth from your heat, crawling up the bed to hover over you, crashing his lips onto yours “told you i’d make it all up to you didn’t i” he says, bumping his nose into yours causing you to let out a giggle, before plopping next to you hands moving to your own as he pulls you to his chest, pulling the blanket over the both of you, your head resting on his shoulder, eyes drifting shut as his thumb rubs soothing circles on your arm.

Master list:

[trashogram]

i’m gonna hop on the stolas hate train with you for a second. Do you know what i feel like he doesn’t get enough lashings for? His inability to see things from Blitzo’s point of view.

I’m sorry but despite being horrendously bad he is simultaneously one of most self absorbed characters ever. If he really loved Blitz to an up to par standard he’d be able to understand the HUGE power imbalance between them regardless of their feelings or time spent together. (might be a spoiler but i feel like you’ve seen it by now) but Blitz out burst to Stolas was super justified , i wouldn’t have done it personally, but i see where he’s coming from.

That moment itself was a rare vulnerable!blitz moment that stolas could’ve used to mend their relationship but instead he made it about Him AGAIN I CANT DO THIS😭😭😭 THEY SUCKKKK GOOD LORDD

I’m here to conduct this hate train, you’re more than welcome to come aboard.

Stolas has the characteristics of a Covert Narcissist (obviously he’s fictional, I can’t diagnose a fictional character or real person, but let’s tally it up shall we?):

Lack of Empathy — You hit that one

Sense of Entitlement — he thinks he’s entitled to Blitzø’s time and body, as well as Octavia’s unending patience and understanding when he fucks up and fucks around on her and their family)

Taking advantage of others for personal gain — the whole deal with the fuckdamn Grimoire

Hyper-focusing on fantasies of grandeur — Stolas is King Delusion thinking his obsession with Blitzø is at all equivalent to love, or even liking someone. He also deludes himself into thinking he knows his own child but he ignores her wants when she literally runs away from him on two separate occasions bc he’s not fucking listening to her.

Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, arrogance, or subtle superiority — Ppl don’t clock this as much as they should but I’ve noticed and gagged at his belittling “pet names” for Blitzø (impish little plaything, itty bitty imp) and how when Moxxie and Millie try to speak to him, Stolas either treats them with disdain/like peasants or doesn’t even look at them when they speak! Not even bringing up how he uses his own imp staff as stress-relieving toys.

Highly sensitive to criticism — Can’t take being called out, has to cry and run away from the truth that Blitzø (and Stella and Octavia) are spitting

Victim Mentality — it’s everyone else in this damn bird’s life that’s to blame instead of himself. “I think so highly of you, I didn’t realize you thought so low of me.”

Fuck. You. Stolas.

I’m sorry this is a wild rant but to be fair it is the Stolas Hate Train (SHT, we should implement an I in there). Obviously I don’t hate his fans. Like what you like. Please. However, I may have some concerns over how young HB fans can get and how they don’t truly see how terribly this character is written because they accept the framing of Stolas as the poor victim in this situation at face value and don’t see it for what it really is, but I’m not their parents. And hopefully the younger audience will grow up and also think “ew”. At the very least.

I would like to know if the HB writers, and her majesty Vivienne Medrano, realize that they’re framing the Abuser in this situation as the victim but have dug this hole so deep that they just have to keep digging bc there’s no going back or if they genuinely think their targeted audience of adults don’t see through this or haven’t had to deal with abusive relationships themselves.

[saltlickmp3]

☕how the writers delt with river song

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THEY DID MY GIRL SO DIRTY there are so many. good river song moments. and there are so manythat make me want to tear a strip off steven moffat like every goddamn episode with her they have to make some obnoxious sex joke or some Honey Im Home type shit & i understand this is like. A Moffat Theme & i dont always hate it but goddddd its so reductive like there is so much!!!! that could be done with her character !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is overshadowed by haha what if she was sexy like STOPPPPPPPPPPPP.

like silence in the library was a really good character lead in & i like her!!! as a character !!!! even the overly flirtatiousness unfortunately that would work on me but even aside from that. she is a good character let down but the sheer pull-it-out-of-your-ass writing of her backstory. like?? she could regenerate cos she was conceived in the tardis okay thats really cool much weirder stuff has happened when it comes to tardises & making babies but then WE SeE THIS FOR LIKE. ONE OR TWO EPISODES BEFORE THEYRE LIKE WHOOPS THAT DOESNT WORK ACTUALLY COS SHE'S DEAD UHHH SHE BETTER UHMM IDK SAVE TH E DOCTOR OR SOMETHING WHATEVER> COS HER ENTIRE LIFE HAS TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM. HASHTAG MARRIAGE AMIRITE like even the fact that her entire life was shaped around him isnt a Bad Idea it just feels like no one considered the tragic impies (implications) of this, & simultaneously doing amy so dirty in the process as well like??? she loses baby mels & then discovers she was her (never previously mentioned) childhood friend but then she uhhhh dies & turns into this woman you already know and them????? barely eveer mention it again???? holy shit?????????????????????? amy & river is a freaking horror story but one that the writers seem imcapable of dealing with because sOMEONE is too busy making obnoxious jokes about married life

a lot of thsi is specific to the General Vibes of the eleven era stuff as well which was in general so so weird about women & while its not like twelve or any of teh other doctors are expemt from this eleven is a massive dick to people quite a bit & a lot of this falls on river b/c he is seemingly (iirc i havent seen some of this stuff for a while though it Haunts Me) almost careless? with her? like a sort of 'welllllll she's here now so it was all okay in the end :)' sort of attitude ignoring that she went through A Fuckton Of Stuff before she was even a concious human(mostly??) being

even the husbands of river song is tragically guilty of some of that stuff like. she's seen some wild shit & she should have known it was twelve wayyyyyy way way quicker. like i understand why she didnt for plot reasons but she is in fact very intellegent like. she's allowed to show that. unfortunatley sometimes women cant be smart & have their boobs out at that same time I GUESSSSSSSSS

also the nine & river audios from earlier this year? i really like archipelago i listened to that a couple of times & i thought it was really powerful but AGAIN the writers make river So Fucking Obsessed With Romance like. you'd let it go by that point. nine had literally just proved he's the most aro guy in the universe (good for him) and shes stillllllll flirting at him. which. imo she wouldnt do anymore because, shock horror, she does actually like him as a person & values his company and you would think you would be friends wit hthe guy YOU ARE GONG TO MARRY OR WHATEVER. NOT THAT THEIR MARRIAGE WAS PARTICULARLY ROMANTIC EITHERIM GONNA BE SO REAL. obviously sex is important to her & good for her but yikes. it doesnt need to be mentioned so often.

like its the whole 'inherent tragedy of waiting for a time traveller' stuff which i do eat up every time meeting her in silence of the library & knowong that there is so much more there - VERY COMPELLING !! really good character intro augahagaauuaajaaajahhahahahhhh but nooooo her Entire Fucking Goddman Life has to revolve around being manipulated & The Doctor AS WELL AS !! the completely uncalled for ohhhh im a PSYCHOPATH ( <- unfounded & demonstrably untrue lowkey this is saneism right. thats an ableism there yes? ) thing they alllwaysssss have her say like well!! shes not !! theres 'youre talking about commiting a murder'/'no im not, i'm actually commiting a murder' which i like & is funny & she would say that and then theres teh vauge oooohhhhh im so Freaky & I Have A Gun or whatevr like augsugsaihuahahaouoauauoouauoauoauoauuo

also twelve & river had freaky t4t bi4bi aroallo sex after the end of husbands of river song but no actual dw writer is enlightened enough to see that because they have to flatten her into The Doctors Wife & she would have had a far better dynamic with 12 than with 11 (not that i'm biased) i wish they got more time togetherrrrrrrrrrr also you should listen to the bekdel test (diary of river song audio with missy)

[tired-fandom-ndn]

your post on the extended abernant family and will readings is making me want more on the abernant family as a whole not just adaine, aelwyn, and the parent’s whose names i cant spell if i tried

just adaine and aelwyn having an extended stay in fallinel because word spreads amongst the family that the two nieces/how ever many great grandkids have returned home after so many years

and they just have a small (actually quite large) and impromptu family reunion

where the sisters tell their tales of solace and in return they get a general info dump of their family members they havent seen since they were quite small

and oisin is getting a shovel talk in the corner by their dragon born cousins and after that they start binding over dragon things like their hoards and etc. while the elves catch up

[context]

YES YES YOU GET ME ANON THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT

They get a letter from a great great aunt just complaining about how they were in Fallinel and didn't even visit their family except for their useless father??? The fact that they were in PRISON is not relevant, their aunt would've posted bail for them if she'd known! Anyway the whole family is getting together for a reunion and they HAVE to come, obviously, grandma's been asking about them for AGES and don't they want to see everyone and meet their new baby cousins??

Adaine and Aelwyn aren't given the chance to argue, they're just told a time and place (their grandma's castle, the same one she'll eventually leave to Adaine) and invited to bring any friends/partners/children (their family does not understand how old they are). Adaine drags Oisin with and maybe the Bad Kids if she can convince them; maybe even Ivy if she and Aelwyn are a thing. They have to have a powerpoint presentation for everyone going with, covering all the most important people and explaining to Oisin why exactly there's a giant fucking dragon skeleton so that he's not caught off guard or made to feel threatened.

There are. So many fucking elves. And half-elves and silver dragonborns and a scattering of other races from marriages. But just A LOT of elves with very long names who are all speaking different dialects of Elvish and still seem to understand each other somehow?? Adaine and Aelwyn are both MOBBED by family members they haven't seen since they left Fallinel (or even earlier, I could see their parents isolating them from the family) and even by family members they've never met; there's an uncle who left to become a forest hermit and that reunion is the first time anyone's seen or heard from him in 300 years.

They get people picking at their hair and complaining about how much fashion has changed (that cousin still wears their hair in styles that were popular 1,000 years ago), older family bragging about being related to the Elven Oracle, teen cousins wondering why they weren't sent to Kei Lumennura too, their grandma praising them for being so lovely and intelligent and good and how on earth did her useless grandchild (I can't decide if I like Angwyn or Arianwen being the Abernant more) produce such wonderful children, and lots of baby cousins getting shoved into their arms. One of their uncles asks why Adaine didn't just talk directly to their cousin in the Court of Stars about being paid and she's like what fucking cousin?????? They get passed around the reunion for hours and spend what feels like every possible moment of the days (and weeks?) following telling every single family member stories about their adventures and life in Solace; their little cousins play games about their adventures, pretending to defeat the Nightmare King and slay Kalvaxus.

Meanwhile YES, Oisin has absolutely been cornered by a dozen or so silver dragonborns (maybe with a scattering of other colors) to interrogate and threaten him, which would be a lot more effective if they weren't speaking a mix of a Fallinel dialect of draconic that Oisin can only understand every other word of and a variety of dialects of Elvish (which Oisin can barely speak) while Oisin's Solesian dialect of Common is difficult and confusing for the other dragonborns. They eventually figure out a system of communication though and Oisin happily hangs out with them (and away from Adaine's more intimidating family members) until he sees Adaine holding one of her baby cousins, a tiny silver hatchling snoozing in her arms, and he needs to be next to her IMMEDIATELY.

[crguang]

Okay sat, I might’ve forgotten to my anon mark at the end of my last message aand I’ve reread part 4 like 5 times, but still, 

what the fuck, literally was thinking abt it in all my classes. And I will be yapping, as I guessed.

First of all, fuck Kafka really wish I was tbh she is so annoying, like just assuming r isn’t that upset, like they’re just having a little argument when r is grappling w the fact that they fell for a criminal, and literally killed their coworkers and a ton of other people, she is pissing me off. Also the stuff abt Kafka and her nihilism…giving me some thoughts. Btw have himeko and Kafka encountered each other in this, or has Himeko just heard abt her? And shes so nice, calling r everyday and being so understanding…

I can’t imagine what Kafka did when she found out she got blocked. Her going to text u and then realizing she’s blocked…kafka pausing when she sees that r blocked her. Kafka waiting to get unblocked as she orders gifts for u, who keeps checking her phone for messages from u as she sends more gifts, reminiscing abt when your first met in the store, silver wolf and blade noticing how Kafka seems to be waiting for smth, Kafka who decides to text you on an encrypted number to see how you’re doing, Kafka who sees that she isn’t forgiven and orders so many fucking flowers bc she didn’t know ur favorite. Ugh I can imagine her bringing all of them into r’s house, god she’s pathetic, I need to kiss her so bad so she shuts the fuck up.

anyway I may or may not have started writing a Kafka fic 👀 tbh I don’t rlly read romance novels so idk how the typical academic rivals thing usually works, trope wise. For some reason I keep fixating on her fucking nails. Like to me, she has them manicured all fancy, but Im fairly certain shorter not manicured nails are better for fingering. On her violin ofc, obviously. I played cello middle and high school, and I kept them long, bc I liked scratching people don’t ask I was a strange kid, but I feel like she’d keep them short bc she’s rlly serious abt it. Also Kafka is so dislikable, her ego is so big, and she’s always calm, like if she didn’t look like she was trying and still top of the class it’d piss me off too 😭

Also in the wardence event rn, I haven’t played it bc I’ve been sleeping or smth like that, but silver wolf shows up 😭 like ik it makes the most sense, since she has holograms but Kafka showed up as a hologram once ok 😭 but what silver said is like “i heard u we’re joining the wardence, and two whose names I won’t mention insisted I go check on you. Why couldn’t they do it themselves.” Ugh Kafka is so obvious it’s actually gonna kill me. And yes wtf couldn’t Kafka have showed up, she’s worth like 11 billion, so ik she can’t show up all the but cmon. 

-🌠

hehfjfjgjfjfj posting a new chapter and having ppl go “man fuck kafka” is funny as hell because honestly, yeah, fuck her😭 i think it was important for me to portray how her personality can be irritating in certain contexts and how being with her really wouldn’t be bliss all the time cause she doesn’t deal with emotions much, and that includes others’. she’s not totally detached from them which is why she does try but it’s very clumsy. it’ll be elaborated on in the next part but in her mind she really has picked the best outcome here and even if she was acting in her own interest, she was protecting R, she’s just an information hoarder. being on the opposite side means you dont know wtf is going on in her head and cant explain her behavior as anything else but “she doesn’t give a shit about me”. it’s an interesting situation to write that’s for sure but im glad that her efforts, though genuine, make yall feel irritated bc thats the point hehe

what i wrote about kafka’s nihilism was not entirely true, and i did it on purpose because R doesn’t know her. i do think that nihilism/finality creates a certain distance between her and accountability. when you tell yourself that this outcome was always a possibility, that it could have happened anyway, the choice you make is no longer fully yours which means that the consequences aren’t fully on your shoulders as well. i think that makes it easier for the stellaron hunters to do what they do, that and the goal they’re working towards that is supposedly the best outcome for humanity. but kafka is anything but passive. she is not “subjected” to things, she has an active role in her future and the ones of the millions of people that it touches within the constraints of destiny. i think with nihilism it’s easy to fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you suffer through the things happening to you because “nothing matters” and “it was going to happen anyway”, but kafka is not like that at all. “if destiny doesn’t propel me forward, i’ll be the one to push destiny”— this is what she does, so describing her as a drop in the ocean isnt entirely accurate because she’s making waves. R will learn that

himeko and kafka have crossed paths canonically before the trailblazer so it’s the same in this. i like that himeko has an opinion of kafka that has been cemented through their brief meetings over the time. in that one “keeping up with star rail” where kafka’s kit is presented, hime has a lot of shit to say about her 😭 all bad. she’s also aware that kafka plays mind games in it so really for her to hear “kafka manipulated me” was like “fork found in kitchen” there’s no surprise there. one of my favorite qualities in hime is her understanding and ability to understand multiple perspectives at once, it develops her already deep empathy and its just very admirable. shes a very soft character, i love her

AND YESSSSS SHE DEFINITELY REACTED LIKE THAT TO BEING BLOCKED HDJFJFKKG she stared at her phone like “oh. they’re really mad” and decided to give them a few days to cool off which is why she sent the first gift and after that she’d be wondering whether to text you or not for like a week; would open her phone, type in your number, pause for ten seconds then go “they’re probably still upset” and send another gift. silver wolf would be like “damn youre on your phone as often as i am. whats wrong with you” and firefly’s eventually the one telling her to go there herself to apologize and not wtv tf shes doing which is why kafka finally texts 😭 shes funny asf. the sheer ridiculousness of ordering hundreds of flowers and taking over half an hour to place them inside your apartment (that she technically broke into) to surprise you is so patheticcccc i would have swooned a bit im sorry. like omg youre pathetic get out of my house but also kiss me before you go… “forget it i’ll just get all of them” can she die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

aaaaa im glad you have time to write the academic rivals au!! typically people have the rivals work together in some sort of assigned group project to force them to interact together but you can go about it differently, like one of them’s practicing for a big piece and the other gets to the practice room too late but but the others are taken and they have to practice the same thing anyway so might as well. or the mc is struggling and kafka happens to pass by and give her some (snarky) pointers which turns into her showing her how its done and the mc actually learning from her (which would make me homicidal). they could also just happen to meet outside of the school context and start developing a new relationship that way. do what feels right!! and yeah, kafka’s nonchalance makes it seem like shes effortlessly good when in reality she takes that shit seriously and practices often😭 it’d still piss me off tho idc

silver wolf showed up in the other event and its just so ridiculous how they always have her everywhere man😭 like fine she’s always keeping up with new games coming out and shit but would it kill them to show kafka once im gonna tear my hair out, we even got to text firefly during the wardance like im gonna screammmm. but kafka and her sending SW to check ip on the tb is so stupid they care so bad😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 typical of kafka not to show or text herself i need to strangle her. the lufou hates her tho so it’s WHATEVER.